Mushaf View — Surah 2 2:226

The Ila' and its Rulings
Ila' is a type of vow where a man swears not to sleep with his wife for a certain period, whether less or more than four months. If the vow of Ila' was for less than four months, the man has to wait for the vow's period to end and then is allowed to have sexual intercourse with his wife. She has to be patient and she cannot ask her husband, in this case, to end his vow before the end of its term. It is reported in the Two Sahihs that `A'ishah said that Allah's Messenger ﷺ swore he would stay away from with his wives for a month. He then came down after twenty-nine days saying:
«الشَّهْرُ تِسْعٌ وَعِشْرُون»
(The (lunar) month is twenty-nine days.)
Similar was narrated by `Umar bin Al-Khattab and reported in the Two Sahihs. If the period of Ila' is for more than four months, the wife is allowed in this case to ask her husband, upon the end of the four months, to end the Ila' and have sexual relations with her. Otherwise, he should divorce her, by being forced to do so by the authorities if necessary, so that the wife is not harmed. Allah said:
لِّلَّذِينَ يُؤْلُونَ مِن نِّسَآئِهِمْ
(Those who take an oath not to have sexual relations with their wives) meaning, swear not to have sexual relations with the wife. This Ayah indicates that the Ila' involves the wife and not a slave-women, as the majority of the scholars have agreed,
تَرَبُّصُ أَرْبَعَةِ أَشْهُرٍ
(...must wait for four months,) meaning, the husband waits for four months from the time of the vow and then ends the Ila' (if the vow was for four or more months) and is required to either return to his wife or divorce her. This is why Allah said next:
فَإِن فَآءُوا
(...then if they return,) meaning, to a normal relationship, having sexual intercourse with the wife. This is the Tafsir of Ibn `Abbas, Masruq, Ash-Sha`bi, Sa`id bin Jubayr and Ibn Jarir.
فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَّحِيمٌ
(...verily, Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.) with any shortcomings that occurred in the rights of the wife because of the vow of Ila'.
Allah said:
وَإِنْ عَزَمُواْ الطَّلَـقَ
(And if they decide upon divorce,) indicating that divorce does not occur by merely passing the four month mark (during the Ila'). Malik reported from Nafi` that `Abdullah bin `Umar said, "If the man swears to Ila' from his wife, then divorce does not occur automatically even after the four months have passed. When he stops at the four months mark, he should either divorce or return." Al-Bukhari also reported this Hadith. Ibn Jarir reported that Suhayl bin Abu Salih said that his father said, "I asked twelve Companions about the man who does Ila' with his wife. They all stated that he does not have to do anything until the four months have passed and then has to either retain or divorce her." Ad-Daraqutni also reported this from Suhayl.
It is also reported from `Umar, `Uthman, `Ali, Abu Ad-Darda', `A'ishah, Ibn `Umar and Ibn `Abbas. This is also the opinion of Sa`id bin Musayyib, `Umar bin `Abdul-`Aziz, Mujahid, Tawus, Muhammad bin Ka`b and Al-Qasim.

(Those who forswear their wives) those who abstain from having sex with their wives because of an oath they have made, should not touch them for a period of four months (may wait up to four months) they should wait four months; (then, if they change their mind) if they have sex with them before the elapse of four months, (lo! Allah is Forgiving) that they have not honoured their oath, provided they repent, (Merciful) in that He made the amends due on them clear.

For those who forswear their women by swearing that they will not have sexual intercourse with them a wait of four months; if they revert back from the oath or repeal it and resume sexual relations God is Forgiving of the harm they caused their women by swearing Merciful to them.

Note:
If someone takes an oath that he will not have sexual intercourse with his wife, the case has four situations:
(A) No time-limit was fixed.
(B) A time-limit of four months was fixed.
(C) A time-limit of more than four months was fixed.
(D) The limit was identified as less than four months.
So, situations A, B and C are termed in Shari` ah as 'Ild' (ایلاء ). The injunction covering these situations is: If the oath-taker breaks his oath within four months and resumes sexual intercourse with his wife, he will have to come up with kaffarah کَفَّارہ for his oath while his nikah (marriage) remains intact. And should it be that the time-limit of four months did expire and the oath-taker did not break his oath, an irrevocable divorce on his wife will become effective, that is, taking her back without remarriage does not remain correct any more. However, if they, by mutual consent, enter into marriage this will be correct. Halalah حلالہ (an intermediary marriage of the woman with a third person) is not required. The injunction in the fourth situation is: If the oath is broken, kaffarah کَفَّارہ will be required and if the oath is completed, the marriage, even then, will remain valid. (Bayan al-Qur°an)

There are certain people who keep swearing oaths inadvertently, out of sheer habit. This is quite wrong. A believer must refrain from doing so. However, between husband and wife, such thoughtless oaths have been held legally invalid, due to the delicacy of the marital relationship. But the case of solemn, intentional oaths is different. If a man intentionally swears by God that he will not go to his wife, this is taken seriously and then Islamic law will take its course. In the family system, both the man and the woman have duties as well as rights. Each of them must, as well as demanding his or her rights, honour the rights of others. That is, if we want others to fulfill their obligations to us, we must also fulfill obligations to them. If one misuses his power and advantageous position to act unjustly towards others, then he cannot save himself from God’s chastisement.